written by
Peter Kovach

Writing again?

Principles 5 min read

What’s up people! It’s been quite a while since I wrote something (it’s not like I wrote a lot to begin with)... I guess that happens sometimes.

However, I am making a commitment to write again and more consistently. I think I’ve been caught up with just living life the past few months, that I haven’t taken time to write and share down my thoughts.

So what will I be writing about? More or less the same as I was previously writing about, Travel, My Deals Reviews, Places to work, etc... however, I plan to get a little more personal and write about my principles. What does that even mean though Pete?

Well back in September/October 2020, I was exploring Italy from north to Scilly with my good buddy Muhan. Mu (as we like to call him) was Andrew Yang’s COO for his Presidential campaign, and by virtue of that occupation, we got into some very heated political conversations. While we talked a lot about politics, we also engaged in a lot of what we like to “Big Talk”.

Big Talk is just our fancy phrase for any type of conversation that is more than a superficial how is the weather type conversation. The topics can range from cultural differences, politics, upbringing to anything trending on Twitter that day (I assure you, they are interesting conversations). Needless to say, there are large differences of opinions on many of the topics, but they are always enjoyable after we forgive each other over the necessary insults.

The most enjoyable part of these conversations is how granular we get into the details with Mu, and this friend group in general. Once we get on a topic, the first thing we do is start to set definitions. This is the most important part of all our conversations.

Why do we do this? Because it's never safe to assume we all have the same interpretation of x word, phrase, or even idea. Everyone has their own perception and viewpoint so if we start conversing without doing this, there is a strong possibility that we're talking about similar, but not the same things, which turns our conversation into :poop: (that was supposed to be an emoji).

So a very large portion of our conversations are about definitions. To be honest, these are why my conversations with Mu and this group tend to be the most rewarding. While we spend quite a long time defining our topics, getting clarity on the topic allows for anyone involved to be in a better position for growth, to change their viewpoint, or to become more confident in their original standing.

So why do I bring up Mu specifically? Well, we spent almost four months together from July to October 2020 traveling together, running from the pandemic, finding secret beaches in Croatia, enjoying an empty Italy, hosting parties for Models during Milan Fashion Week (it’s a long story), and having a lot of Big Talk.

When you spend this much time with a good friend and you have a lot of heavy conversations, they all merge together, but they also challenge you in a good way. One such way was examing how our viewpoints would change on a specific topic, where emotional attachment trumped our previous position on different topics.

I can only speak for myself here, but I found this quite interesting and disturbing. Why for this one specific topic did I make an exception vs everything else. I think this was only possible to identify when you are having a Big Talk Marathon because you are able to easily recall recent conversations and call the other person out.

Once it happened a few times I started to think, what do I, Pete, really stand for. Where are things black and white for me? Where are things gray? Why do I make these exceptions? Do I have any principles in general? Have I just been floating around and not really stand for anything. These are the questions I asked myself. I don’t think this makes me a bad person, but I started to realize that I am entering my late 20’s and I can’t ride the fence for too much longer.

Where does this leave me now? Well, there has been some level of examination on my own. What exactly are my personal beliefs, what are the things that are 100% true about me, are these things I like, or do I want to change them? Is it a positive for me? For my family and friends? For the world? Are these things I do naturally, or want to strive to do? Is this one of my principles?

So for the sake of Big Talk, what is a principle to me? A Principle is one of two things, either a Primary or Secondary Principal.

A Primary Principle is something that is 100% absolutely true about me today regarding my behavior or viewpoint on the world. There are no loopholes or exceptions and I will be consistent in every possible scenario.

A Secondary Principle is something I strive for, but lack the discipline or consistency at the current moment. It is not yet a part of who I am, but it’s part of who I want to become.

If you feel these aren’t good definitions or I can tighten them up somehow, please let me know. But in my unsophisticated speak, these are how I define my personal principles.

So why am I writing them? For me, it's a form of accountability. To share them with the world, so if I ever do fail, they can be identified and examined. More importantly, it's a way to help me cement them in my life, and if I do face a true change, I can look back and understand what has changed and how I’ve evolved over time.

So if you want to read, feel free. If you want to critique, feel freer, or you can just ignore in general. It’s all good to me :)